return my video game
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
