definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need a burrito and a hug.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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