I wish I could teleport
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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