My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
