on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
