You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
