I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
