if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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