We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
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