She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
third nipple confirmed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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