Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
