How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
