You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
