C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
