margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This show inspires me to have sex in space
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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