i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
