Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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