he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
