i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
