Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
