i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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