My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
