Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
