Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
