He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
