I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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