you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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