one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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