when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
ok first of all what the fuck
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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