Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize