just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize