My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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