His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
