I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
You can't motorboat a personality
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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