remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
