I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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