Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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