Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
