i think my tv is drunk
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize