she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
