I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
