Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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