Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
