I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
