Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
