What did we do last night that was yellow?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
