i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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