so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
