i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize