guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I looked at my own cervix.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
