Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
