I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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