One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
