i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
