Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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