You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
