I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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